By Quietly, the thoughts creep in, telling you that you are not good enough.
You smile and tell everyone you are OK, but the weight is too much some nights.
One night, after driving to the beach to catch a late-night breeze and clear my thoughts, I broke down. Later, at home, after ensuring no one was around, I punched the wall and threw my drink across the room.
Moments like these are all too familiar—too often, men feel the need to hide their emotions out of fear of being a burden. The stigma that forces men to stay silent and suppress their feelings must be confronted.
Recently, during a therapy session, I came across a post by BuzzFeed highlighting issues men face when showing vulnerability. It made me think about my peers at Long Beach State and whether male students bottle their emotions out of fear of being judged.
Students, including Dylan Salguero-Perez, an 18-year-old kinesiology major, agreed and said the way men are viewed often makes it harder for them to be open about their emotions.
“Men, that’s the way we’ve been looked at—to be tough and not cry,” Salguero-Perez said. “My dad is a tough guy, and he taught us not to cry. It’s just something that men don’t really do.”
Salguero-Perez’s comments echo how society expects men to act a certain way when, in reality, this standard can be counterproductive. Instead, there must be greater attention and understanding toward men moving forward.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website, men make up 50% of the population, and alarmingly, the website’s suicide rates for men are nearly 80%.
Having nearly been a part of that statistic, it matters to me that male students know help is always available, especially now that resources are expensive.
Mai Schweizer, a 24-year-old teaching credential student, notes that while resources exist on campus, they often lack promotion.
“The hardest thing about accessing resources is that it’s expensive. Therapy is expensive,” Schweizer said. “You could send emails; they could end up in my spam folder because I get a lot of those, but I’ve never seen anything mental health-related.”
While CSULB has done a great job providing the resources on campus, including the Counseling and Psychological Services offered, there is always room for improvement. This is especially important considering the hesitancy male students show in addressing their mental health.
Ricardo Rocha, a 20-year-old environmental science major, said men may need a little push to realize it is OK to seek help.
“It’s just my opinion, but men have more aggressive emotions. It’s like you don’t want to be seen as a crazy person. Yeah, there is therapy, but it starts with the people around you, people that you love,” Rocha said.
Rocha’s sentiments prove that despite the availability of therapy, support must come from the people around men. Instead of waiting for men to open up, it’s time to create an environment where they are encouraged to be open.
This is not a critique of the resources on campus; these are the words of someone who was close to the edge and wants to ensure his peers do not reach that point. The best way to achieve that is by continuing to raise awareness about this silent epidemic.
