Watching a celebrity or athlete fall from grace has always been a favorite pastime of mine. There is something about it that is just surreal and makes one think, “Hey, maybe my life isn’t so screwed up.” Of course everyone would like to have more money and some measure of fame, but certain people just can’t seem to handle it. And for the hours of entertainment they provide us, you have to love them for it.
The biggest example of this type of celebrity screw-up is, of course, Charlie Sheen. Personally, I love Charlie Sheen. With a lifestyle that is so incredibly over-the-top, how can you not like him? With his oft-recalled romps with porn stars and prostitutes, week-long drug benders and general aura of debauchery, it’s amazing that the guy was able to hold his “Two And A Half Men” job as long as he did, let alone the fact that he is still alive.
Besides all of that, Sheen is the only person I can actually say I like who believes that September 11, 2001, was an “inside job.” His famous “controlled demolition” theory regarding the towers — while hilariously ridiculous — reminds us that Sheen is one crazy person who actually made it big. And make no mistake; the guy is obviously crazy, judging by his recent interviews, which have sparked T-shirts and other forms of collectibles that loudly shout Sheen’s fan’s favorite “winning” phrases.
But my question about all of this is why? If you have a job as cushy as “Two And A Half Men” was, and you can actually make a fortune from it, why screw it up? It is a question that I have asked myself many, many times, yet I still never seem to come up with a logical answer. With international fame, loads of money and a bevy of beautiful women wanting to tag along with you everywhere, why, oh why, would any sane person do anything to mess it up?
Well, there’s that keyword — sanity, of course.
Another example of this phenomenon is the recent downfall of baseball player Manny Ramirez. Ramirez and his illustrious career lasted 19 seasons. Well, 18.05 in actuality, but who’s counting? But because of a drug violation, it came crashing down. After playing six games with his new team, the Tampa Bay Rays, Ramirez announced on Friday that he was retiring.
This seemed too early to throw in the towel, even for Ramirez, who has been known to start dialing in his performances in the past when his teams’ output go downhill. There was something else afoot. Soon the world learned that this was yet another example of an athlete doing drugs and getting caught, smearing the face of sports once again and begging the question, “Are there any legitimate athletes these days that don’t use drugs?”
It is paradoxical to me how people like Sheen and Ramirez operate. Taking the straight-and-narrow in life really must be that incredibly hard for some people to do. But when all things are considered, it really does prove human nature. We are always going to get ourselves into trouble, no matter how easy our lives could possibly be.
Creating problems and getting over them makes humans stronger, but there are always some bad apples. You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, right?
People like Sheen and Ramirez — while infinitely entertaining in a car-crash kind of way, remind us that money and fame aren’t the answers to all of our problems. Celebrities and sports stars can be just as screwed up as the rest of us, and often they are anything but “winning.”
Gerry Wachovsky is a graduate student and columnist for the Daily 49er.
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