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Government-sponsored torture is sacred gift – from God

There has been commotion about a recently released classified decision by the Department of Justice in which they explicitly condone more aggressive methods of interrogation. Why, for God’s sake? This simply baffles me, and even as I pen this editorial I feel myself overcome with indescribable amounts of disgust and rage toward my liberal counterparts.

Will the Islamofascist consider the moral ramifications of his actions as he detonates another bomb within a shopping center, perhaps on U.S. soil?

Though some have said – and I feel it necessary to preemptively strike at this – that we must exercise more “Christian” discretion. “Turn the other cheek,” the atheist says to me, with what is no doubt a well-subdued sense of smug satisfaction at having seemingly turned my religion against me.

Thank the good Lord, I often reply, that this is not a Christian nation based on Christian principles. If recent history has taught us anything, it is that the conservative movement, especially its religious population, values the separation of church and state. It is dishonest for anyone to suggest otherwise.

But as a God-fearing evangelical, I feel that we have not considered the issue of torture seriously. Abortion and the homosexual agenda are important issues, but our leadership has avoided any comment on the use of torture not only as a means of interrogation, but also as a means of conversion.

It is our responsibility as the moral compass of this nation to shepherd our flock into the arms of God. Have we forgotten the Sermon on the Mount? Every lost convert in this life is our failure as Christians. We must take our responsibilities as Christ’s messengers of love and peace seriously.

We all agree that there are many instances where torture is not only acceptable, but necessary. It is often regarded as the “ticking time-bomb” scenario.

But what of the spiritual ticking time bomb? What of the atheist who does not even see that his soul will be damned to Hell if he does not accept the Lord as his personal savior?

Would we be good stewards of this Earth if we did not employ every means at our disposal – including torture – in order to save him?

I think the answer is obvious.

As good Protestants, and good, God-fearing men of America, it is our spiritual obligation to employ any conversion methods necessary in order to ensure the proper salvation of every soul in these United States, for what is a short period of relative pain and anguish on Earth when weighed against an eternity of pain and suffering in Hell?

They should thank us for looking after their spiritual well-being with that kind of zeal, and were I not already a Christian, and therefore exempt from such innovative techniques, I would feel honored to be awarded an opportunity to suffer, in some small way, as Christ suffered for me.

Matthew Kirchner is a junior English major and a contributing writer for the Daily Forty-Niner.

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