By snoadmin
Looks like it’s a fat world after all. According to recent news reports, the beloved It’s a Small World attraction at Disneyland will be closing down in January 2008 for almost a year for some major re-engineering.
Actually, scrap that. Let’s call it “re-Imagineering.” After all, such grade A spin is what Disney is likely going to be putting on the billboards covering the attraction next year, once it closes.
But re-imagine this: The very likely reason Disneyland is refurbishing this ride is because its boats and flume (built way back in 1963 for the average, slimmer American park guest) cannot handle today’s 2007 average, fatter American park guest.
Of course, Disney – one of the most image-conscious businesses ever conceived by man (and rightly so with that whole happy childhood Mickey thing going on) – is denying that today’s abundance of fat people is what is making the park re-do the flume and boats of the ride.
A Disney spokesman has said “decades of fiberglass patching and repairs of It’s a Small World have built up the bottom of its flume at several stress points, making it shallower than when originally constructed,” according to CalorieLab.com.
That excuse is quite clever, but I know first-hand it’s really because of the ride’s wait, er, I mean, weight.
But let’s get one thing clear: I am a Disneyland employee, aka Cast Member. And while I love my job, display my Cast Member nametags on my desk at home and think Disneyland is by and large a great place to work, I still find the examples of obesity there – from both Cast Members and guests – horribly disgusting.
I’ve never worked Small World, but know a few people who have. I know the attractions hosts there (and on many other rides) have to evenly distribute the weight of the guests riding so the boats won’t get messed up, because if they’re messed up, the Happiest Place on Earth gets stinky like the cheese Mickey left out for a few days.
And nobody likes that.
Some perceptive guests are even keen enough to notice when a boat with a few more-than-hefty people leaves the dock with many of its rows empty. Little do they realize, when they complain about “inefficiency” that it’s truly because the boat can’t handle much more weight, so the ride operators load it cautiously.
But this is just one example of guest obesity at Disneyland. There are more, but I’d rather mention the Cast Member obesity because it’s less obvious.
When grabbing uniforms, aka costumes in Disneyland lingo, I usually find more XXXLs than the mediums or larges I’m looking for. Funny thing is, a lot of people who work there tragically and truly need those sizes.
In fact, it’s my belief that it’s become such a problem that it’s why the Disney company gets local gyms to set up tables that sell discounted memberships in Cast Member areas, and why the company mails out pamphlets on personal health tips.
In any case, you know something must be an American epidemic of biblical, plague-like proportions when it manages to creep past Disneyland’s Main Gate, aka the carefully constructed world of fantasy where the outside world is worlds away.
Bradley Zint is a senior journalism and political science major and the editor in chief for the Daily Forty-Niner.
