By snoadmin
Going to KIIS-FM’s Jingle Ball 08 was a lot like listening to KISS-FM. There were a lot of commercials, a lot of bad music and the occasional tune that made you want to get up and dance.
The best way to survive a night like that is to go with a friend who shares a similar sense of humor and appreciation for the fine art of sarcasm. Oh, and booze — lots and lots of booze. Unfortunately at $9 per cocktail or good beer the night is barely survivable.
Thankfully KIIS-FM didn’t totally drop the jingle-ball on acts because they did manage to get Akon added to the bill at the last minute. Because of his performance, Estelle and the Pussycat Dolls, the night was not a total waste, just mostly.
When I can avoid it, I don’t listen to the radio. So when I heard the first two bands were Menudo and Tokio Hotel my first response was, “Who?” I wish I could still say that.
Menudo reminded me of every reason why I hated boy bands years ago. The eerie synchronized movements and really generic sound didn’t make me stand up or even tap my foot. I did have to cover my ears a few times to protect them from the shrill screams of the young girls behind me. These two looked like they were about to faint every time Menudo did a pelvic thrust.
Tokio Hotel was indescribable, and not in a good way. My friend and I played the incredibly insensitive, “Is that a boy or girl?” game first popularized with Hansen. The lead singer had big hair, pale skin, more make up than a hooker and a very sparkly shirt. I can’t remember much of the performance because the scrawny singer mesmerized me. It was an evil attention-holding ploy.
Estelle was the first name I recognized and she sang her hit song “American Boy.” Then, seemingly to everyone’s surprise, she sang another song. “American Boy” was the first time I stood up for a reason besides a giant pretzel.
Following Estelle was David Banner. His performance was less than memorable but he did get off the stage and run around the audience a bit.
Katy Perry was up next, making her entrance in a giant banana. Perry performed her two hits, “Hot N Cold” and “I Kissed a Girl” both went over extremely well with the underage audience.
Akon finally brought some relief to the show. It was the first time I saw more than the over-excited fans get up and dance.
Jesse McCartney managed to kill the mood. If Justin Timberlake and Usher had a lovechild, it would be Jesse McCartney.
The Pussycat Dolls breathed life back into the concert. While they won’t go down in history for their extraordinary singing, their lively dancing and burlesque outfits made the stage worth looking at.
At long last, Chris Brown took the stage. But Brown didn’t feel the need to actually sing at KIIS-FM’s Jingle Ball 08. Instead he just danced around a lot. Then he brought some really talented little kids on stage to dance around a lot. Then there was a little singing, then more dancing. The dancing was really cool to watch, but Brown is a very talented singer and I would have liked to hear more. Rihanna came out and performed her song “Umbrella” with Brown, but that whole performance seemed half-assed.
Maybe the performances wouldn’t have seemed so bad if there hadn’t been 20 to 30 minutes between each set. The commercials that were playing on the big screen TVs were just annoying and the “Webcam Musical” made by KIIS-FM DJs didn’t even pass for moderately entertaining. The jokes and Christmas carol parodies were poorly written. The B- and C- list celebrities didn’t help either. I was not excited to see one of the Kardashian girls, some guy from Twilight — no, not Edward — and the cast of 90210.
Tokio Hotel may have been able to distract me with a shiny shirt, but there aren’t enough sequins in Southern California to distract me from the sub-par concert that was KIIS-FM’s Jingle Ball 08.
