Though some may argue sexual orientation is genetic, there are others who think it is more of a choice – just another personal preference like Coke versus Pepsi, or Lifestyles versus Trojan.
In an effort to settle this age-old debate, biologists at the University of Utah decided to have a pajama party and discuss worm sex. Apparently, a recent worm study may offer us some insight into sexual attraction between humans. And, naturally, those nerdy biologists needed all the insight they could get.
“Humans are subject to evolutionary forces just like worms. It seems possible that if sexual orientation is genetically wired in worms, it would be in people, too,” said Erik Jorgensen, a biology professor and scientific director of the Brain Institute at the University of Utah.
The mere idea of such a correlation is about as preposterous as me having worm babies.
The goal of the experiment was to understand how certain brain cells elicit certain behaviors. Both the males and females have the same nerve cell in their brains, but they serve different purposes and produce different behaviors in each gender.
The study involved a group of worms in which only one in 500 are truly male and the remaining were hermaphrodites. Basically, they were females for all intended purposes. With a ratio like that it’s no wonder gay men exist; there aren’t any women to mate with.
Those pompous female worms turned out to be too self-sufficient for the guy worms. Because they can make their own mini-worms, who needs a “marm” (man worm)? It only seems natural for the males to start turning elsewhere for their sexual needs to be met.
But of course, scientists paid no mind to the male worms. They were more turned on by those sexy, slender female worms as they imagined them slithering across their … I’ll stop there.
According to the worm study, scientists focused on the female worms by manipulating their genes and, like the flip of a switch, tricked their brains, causing the female worms to act like males and thus become attracted to their own gender.
Those biologists must be enjoying worm porn at their PJ party with a little girl-on-girl wiggly action.
Worms probably have their own ways of courtship, as do humans. Because they don’t have eyes, worms are drawn to each other by smell, as opposed to humans who are pretty visual. (Who doesn’t enjoy a little eye candy, single or taken?) So males are drawn to the females while the females avoid each other.
In the experiment, the females took no interest in the scent of other females, but once their genes were altered, they became attracted. Scientists refer to these worms as “transgendered” worms – funny, considering they didn’t go through any costly sex-change operations.
Humans have basic physiological needs, which include air, water, food, excretion, sleep, homeostasis and, of course, sex. Yes, sex is a basic human need, according to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Humans have a natural tendency to reproduce and, thus, are attracted to other humans who can help get the job done, if you know what I mean.
In the case of worms, the male worms were not having their basic needs met because the females were not attracted to them. The dude worms needed to fulfill those needs by other means and, viola, the springtime of gay worms (although the worm study doesn’t include this notion).
The engineering of these “transgendered” worms is being touted as potential scientific evidence that sexual orientation is “hard-wired in the brain” and supports the notion that people are born with their sexual orientation.
The concept that people are born with sexual orientation is one I have to disagree with, especially because research does not prove any correlation between worms and humans.
Humans are complicated beings with a lot more going on than worms. There is a huge gap between the species. Worms have about 400 neurons while humans have a hundred billion, with many more intricate traits.
So if you’re confused about your own sexual orientation, maybe you should date a bookworm.
Niki Payne is a senior journalism major and a contributing writer for the Daily Forty-Niner.
