I want to talk today about free market solutions. I often find myself obsessed with constant derision of dissenting opinion and, while the fruits of that endless endeavor are exquisite, it is important for me to offer some resolutions of my own.
Surely, there is no problem more pressing or more pertinent than the current front in the war against terrorism. I am, of course, speaking about Iraq. In rare form, I will concede to my opponents that the military situation is nothing short of dire and must be addressed sooner rather than later. We must look for ways to ease the burdens of our military men and women as the Armed Forces become more and more strained by consecutive mobilizations.
Some would snidely suggest that I enlist myself, but I am afraid I would be of no use. The hours are lousy and I have no need for additional income. Besides, I serve the war effort far more effectively here at the Daily Forty-Niner. For it is from this modest post that I can wave the banner of freedom, stand on the soapbox of democracy and encourage others to fulfill their moral obligations as American citizens. After all, freedom isn’t free.
Recruitment can only do so much. This is where the free market must come into play. I am encouraged by the actions of the State Department, whose staff has taken it upon themselves to contract private firms, such as Blackwater, to perform security operations within Iraq. Can there be a more American solution to modern warfare than contracting it out to private companies?
As I have suggested in previous editorials, any government intervention at all inevitably leads to catastrophe. Perhaps that has merely been the case all along in Iraq, so why not privatize the entire war effort? We already purchase weapons, armor, vehicles and other military technology from private corporations. Why not purchase the manpower as well?
Imagine brigade-sized private security forces competing to control the Green Zone for the lowest wage. And what’s more, these private armies wouldn’t be constrained by nonsensical, liberal notions of rules of engagement, or those pesky Geneva Conventions. Thank you, de-regulation!
We could even bring in laborers from India and the Philippines to do some of the dirtier work that American mercenaries won’t do, like clearing buildings or disarming IEDs. This may concern some, but to the nay-sayers I reply, “Who cares how the house is built, so long as it’s built?” They already make your designer jeans and iPods for practically nothing. But once the prospect shifts to war, you all of a sudden decide to grow a conscience? You’re not fooling anyone.
In the immortal words of U.S. Secretary of Commerce Carlos Gutierrez, “Iraq today is open for business.”
Let’s start the bidding at $1.2 trillion.
Matthew Kirchner is a junior English major and a contributing writer for the Daily Forty-Niner.
