Call me crazy or call it scandalous, but here goes: Cal State Long Beach is really more of a treacherous ocean than the affectionate “beach” we commonly dub it.
Beaches are relaxing. While we leisurely stroll along the shore, the waves crash onto the sand. Cool ocean breezes melt away our worries.
But is this CSULB? In a word, no.
Our pseudo-beach is more of an ocean, with all of us desperately swimming to keep our heads above water. While we frantically run along its hallways, late to class, we try to prevent crashing into other students. Mandatory midterms screw up our weekend plans.
This is CSULB.
But don’t panic and get your swimsuit tied up in a knot just yet, for there is light at the top of this oceanic tunnel. It’s called a college degree, and most of us really have to swim hard to get one in this ocean.
All that said, here are a few tips for surviving The Beach from a guy who, after nearly four years at this school, knows it pretty well (probably too well, considering I live on campus, don’t have a car and sometimes don’t leave campus for more than a week at a time. People in the medieval ages traveled farther. I know – it’s pretty pathetic).
First, plan, plan, plan. You’ve got to plan at this school, and plan a lot.
What do I mean by planning? I mean plan around you getting your degree while some 35,000 others are doing that, too. And by this, I am mostly referring to planning your semester schedule. Of course, all of us already do this, but do you really do it? I mean, do you really, really plan?
Don’t wait until the night before your registration date (assuming you actually know your class registration date) to pick the next semester’s classes. Plan weeks, months, maybe even years ahead of time for what you want and/or need to take.
Speaking of which, you shouldn’t even be reading this right now. Unless you’re graduating, you should be planning for fall 2007 and beyond.
Just kidding! Kind of.
If you need help planning the classes you need for your major, consult a counselor or a trusted friend. Better yet, study your major, minor and GE requirements yourself, kinda like you would organic chemistry or human anatomy in sex ed.
It is my estimation that the reason most people stay more than four years at this particular university is because they don’t plan well enough. Well, there’s that and also failing classes or changing your major, but if you’re swift enough to do those things, you have an even greater excuse to plan that much better the next time.
Here’s another trick about planning your class schedule ahead of time. MyCSULB, in all its infinite glory, will actually tell you how many spots are open in classes for kids like us – if you bother to look ahead of time. That means if you want a particular section at a favorable time or with a favorable teacher, you can check and see if you have a good shot at getting in by the time you register.
For example, if you see there are only two spots left in the class you want and your registration date isn’t for another week, don’t make bets in your favor. It is as simple as that because waiting lists suck.
Another thing related to planning is finding the good teachers at this school. After all, we’re paying thousands of dollars for our education (not to mention nearly a hundred to park our cars here), so why should we put up with crappy professors?
The answer is you don’t have to if you do your research. Ask your friends what they thought of a teacher or look up ratings at Web sites like RateMyProfessor.com. Even the school-funded Beach Pride Center’s page, BeachPride.com, has a rating professor tool. Use it.
OK, now that I’ve gotten my main points across, you can stop reading or you can continue, because I’ve got a few more great tidbits of info.
Everything but the parking structures seems to be full by 9 a.m., so you people driving around the lots looking for a spot are, in my opinion, wasting expensive gas. Stop contributing to global warming, you varmints!
“The Gap,” located outside the University Student Union on the Southwest Turnaround side, is a great campus niche. Contribute to tradition and always wait in line, even if it’s slower than walking around.
Stay away from energy drinks and copious amounts of caffeine, for that matter. Last semester, energy drinks took over The Beach with a vengeance. Sometimes they replaced juice machines with products that were actually good for us. To illustrate my point, we have Red Bull-only dispensers now.
Energy drinks are gonna be the new mass killer someday, like cigarettes or something. Machines are stocked now to meet demand, but don’t be fooled. It’s all a scam.
Also, don’t swim in the Go Beach! pool in the USU, unless you want thousands of passerbys staring at you. I know I’ve always wanted to swim there but have never had the courage – yet.
And don’t be fooled by campus solicitors. They’re probably a bigger scam than energy drinks.
Complaining about state tuition and campus fees is pathetic. We’re still a lot cheaper than most anywhere else in comparison, so be happy.
Lastly, but not “leastly,” read your campus media. Know what’s going on, what your colleagues think or whatever else is published. And write them letters telling them what you think, good or bad. Hopefully it’s good.
With that said, read the Daily Forty-Niner every day. Read the Union Weekly every week. Read Dig magazine once a month. Hell, you can even read that Beach Review thing that comes out once a semester.
Another insider tip: Don’t bother paying for the Los Angeles Times, USA Today and Long Beach Press-Telegram. You can get them all free Monday through Friday in the dorms, so pick up your copies in the morning.
And that’s all the advice I have for now. Good luck, everybody!
Bradley Zint is a senior journalism and political science major and the managing editor for the Daily Forty-Niner.
