By snoadmin
Alien invasion movies are all the rage in Hollywood these days, and everyone wants in on the action. “Twilight” author Stephenie Meyer took on the genre with her literary abomination “The Host,” which has now, unfortunately, been made into a film. With its boring plot lines, confusing “love square” and laughable make out scenes, this movie is somehow even worse than the overrated vampire dramas that made Meyer famous.
For people who didn’t read the book that inspired this unfortunate film, here’s a rundown to get you caught up: this film was made for Meyer’s hard-core fans, and the film doesn’t even attempt to slow down for people not familiar with the material.
A group of parasitic aliens called “souls” invade Earth and attach themselves to human hosts, taking over their body, obtaining their memories and most of the time, erasing the previous inhabitant from that body. There are, however, a few strong-willed humans who fight their soul and maintain some level of consciousness.
Melanie (Saoirse Ronan) is part of the small group of humans who have yet to be turned into glowy eyed hosts, but within the first five minutes of the movie, she sacrifices herself to the souls in order to save her brother Jamie (Chandler Canterbury) and her boyfriend Jared (Max Irons). This is when the ridiculousness begins.
Melanie becomes host to Wanderer, a soul that has invaded eight different planets looking for one she belongs in; however, to Wanderer’s, aka Wanda’s, dismay, Melanie won’t leave her mind, and throughout the entire movie she annoyingly comments on everything that happens in Wanda’s life.
Wanda begins to sympathize with her host, and through Melanie’s memories, which pretty much consist of Melanie and Jared making out or having sex, Wanda falls in love with the people in Melanie’s life. Wanda takes Melanie’s body back to them in a commune underground in the desert, where upon arrival she is punched in the face by Melanie’s aunt Maggie (Frances Fisher) and her boyfriend Jared because of her glowing eyes.
Eventually her uncle Jeb, who sees that Wanda and Melanie are one and the same, saves her.
While all this is happening, the Seeker (Diane Kruger) is hunting down Wanda so she can find the last of the human resistance.
Although this plot may sound semi interesting, it is one of the most boring screenplays every written and has no business being a best-selling book, let alone a blockbuster film.
This film has a way of making action scenes seem like they are taking an hour to get through. Audience members were heavily sighing and seemingly falling asleep throughout the movie.
One of the most confusing things about this film happens to also be the most important. The fact that Melanie is still “alive” in her body makes for some of the most incomprehensible scenes in the film. The conversations between Wanda and Melanie take place while Melanie shouts commands at Wanda and as Wanda speaks aloud to her.
In true Stephenie-Meyer form, this film focuses on the love triangle, or more accurately, love square, which creates the most unintentionally comedic moments ever. When Wanda starts to fall in love with human Ian (Jake Abel), Melanie is wary because she is in love with Jared. So essentially, one body with two minds is in love with two separate people. And when these characters kiss, it is so stupid the audience isn’t even be able to believe what they’re seeing.
Overall this film is a disaster that is not worth your money or your time. Even if you somehow enjoyed Meyer’s book, it doesn’t translate well to film and proves that the “Twilight” film series was nothing more than a flash in the pan. Meyer should quit while she’s ahead and stay home counting her money instead of subjecting us to more literary drivel.
