By snoadmin
From the studio that invented the horror genre comes Halloween in the form of screams, shrieks and sex. And while the first two seem all too appropriate for the annual Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood, the third element left us from the Daily Forty-Niner wondering a relentless “why?” and “has Hollywood gone off its rocker this time?”
But first, the good stuff.
The entire park is dark and fog machines spew mist everywhere, heightening both the scaring experience and increasing the ability to get lost if you don’t know where you’re going. If you’re not careful, you just might run into – or get scared by – the brigades of “scare-actors” in the themed and designated Scare Zones.
A few of them even have pads that allow the scare-actors to skid on the pavement and create sparks, so not only will they scare you, but they’ll temporarily light your path with an instant bit of fire as well.
While running through the park, one of the scare-actor skidders thought it would be a great idea to interject himself in our trajectory. The result was me jumping over his sliding, spark-filled body and nearly kicking him in the head.
So watch out for that kind of stuff. Safety first, right?
Universal Studios’ main marquee attraction is its Backlot Tour, where guests take a guided tram to the filming locations and staged events. But at Halloween, the tram tour is cut quite short – and with good reason.
The tour, now dubbed “The Terror Tram,” is a short ride down the hill into the studio lots, where riders get out and experience the sets up-close. Before, guests got to merely pass through the movies. Now, during the Halloween season, they get to walk within them.
Highlights of the tour are meandering through the walkways of the actual Bates Motel and house from “Psycho,” and a plane crash scene from “War of the Worlds.”
Alfred Hitchcock fans will particularly enjoy walking through the iconic “Psycho” sets, during which you might be scared enough to want your mother. Fortunately, Norman Bates brought what’s left of his, so you should be OK.
Other highlights of Halloween Horror Nights are the four mazes: A Nightmare on Elm Street: Freddy’s Nightmare; Friday the 13th: Camp Blood; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Back in Business; and Universal’s House of Horrors.
Now for the sex.
For whatever reason, all four shows of Halloween Horror Nights have elements of sex laced within them that seem horribly out of place within the scary context of the rest of the park.
This is no more apparent than in the show “Slaughter World 2,” which is in the “Waterworld” show arena. “Slaughter World” is an odd and incredibly unfunny attempt to somehow hybrid the daytime show “Waterworld” with a blood-driven, Halloween-themed battle – all the while inserting as many sexual innuendos as possible.
After wading through the torrents of “seaman” jokes and scantily clad women, I still have no idea what happened or why who killed who. On the bright side, explosions and fire are always cool enough to appeal to the lesser side of our brains, and at least the show is free.
This is why I have dubbed a new name for this show: “Sex World on Water.” Enjoy.
Another show, “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure,” is a slapstick comedy, dancing and singing routine – at least that’s what I think it was – that at times is funny. It’s loud and better than “Sex World on Water,” so don’t miss it. You’re at least likely to laugh at the dancing robot, the Spartan warrior and the celebrity jokes.
“Chucky’s Insult Emporium” is Chucky on top of a building insulting whomever responds to him in the crowd. Needless to say, he’s a modern-day hybrid version of a ventriloquist and dirty stand-up comic.
Last is the “Dark Magic & Dirty Tricks” show with Kevin James and Brian Bushwood. It starts with a meaningless dance – also sex-laden – and some great illusions by a clever team.
But the answer as to why Universal Studios douses its shows with sex appeal and screams seems to be explained by looking at its ongoing effort to somehow distinguish itself from the other two Halloween theme park zones: Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm.
Those two obviously have no sexiness, so Universal has to stick out somehow from the pack. This is why Universal recommends the event for a “mature audience” only. This means leave little brothers, sisters and the like at home.
But next time, Universal should stick to its own history of making great horror films and extend that talent into its theme park – first and foremost. This way, stupid sex jokes won’t distract from what people are really visiting for: screams and shrieks.
Fortunately, Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights does manage to do this very, very well.
Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights runs selected nights starting at 7 p.m. until Halloween night, Oct. 31.
