Remember back in the day, when the mere thought of Mother going to work was preposterous? The sheer notion of a stay-at-home dad was laughable, and the concept drew harsh criticism and judgment from the many Stepford Wives of the neighborhood, all wondering how a mother could possibly leave her children for a job.
Back in the day, everyone assumed there were only two roads to choose from. Either you were a stay-at-home mother, devoted to her children or a selfish career woman, devoted to her job.
Oh, how wrong they were. According to an Oct. 16 article in the New York Times, despite the overwhelming number of women in the workforce, mothers are spending just as much time with their children as they did 40 years ago when the thought of a woman on Wall Street was absurd.
A new book, “Changing Rhythms of American Family Life,” published by the Russell Sage Foundation and the American Sociological Association, has surprising new information about gender roles in the American family.
Author Suzanne M. Bianchi, chairwoman of the department of sociology at the University of Maryland says, “It seems reasonable to expect that parental investment in child-rearing would have declined” since 1965, when 60 percent of children lived in families with a bread-winner father and a stay-at-home mother.
Nowadays, only around 30 percent of children live in nuclear families similar to that. With an abundance of mothers in paying jobs, several policy-makers assumed parents must have less quality time to spend with their children.
But the researchers have found, to their utter bewilderment, that married and single parents actually spent more time playing, teaching and caring for their children than did parents 40 years ago.
According to the author, there is suddenly a “remarkable gender equality in total workloads,” averaging nearly 65 hours a week for both men and women. Not only that, it has been shown that for married fathers, the time spent on child care has more than doubled since 1965, to 6.5 hours a week from a measly 2.6.
What a refreshing statistic that is. It seems that finally, things are getting to a fair and balanced place in this country, where both genders have equal responsibilities in raising their children. Since when are women unable to do any task men can do, save some things relating to physical strength? Why shouldn’t an intelligent, independent woman be able to make a living, support her family and still be a loving and devoted mother? Why should she feel guilty for such a noble cause?
It brings us great joy to hear that more and more women are now doing what our grandmother’s were unable to accomplish in their lifetimes: to follow their dreams, their professional career quests, and at the same time, be around to watch their children grow up.
No woman should have to sacrifice anything for anyone to achieve her goals in life. So let’s celebrate the fact that those cynics were wrong. You don’t have to secularize a working mother or a stay-at-home mom. You can be both and proud of it.
