By Standing in the third row of the North Park Observatory in San Diego on March 5, I watched as the lights turned red on stage and LGBTQ+ artist Cari Fletcher, also known as FLETCHER nervously climbed up to her set.
After panicking about the height, she transitioned to her opening number, “girls girls girls.” Immediately, I felt a wave of validation and self-acceptance wash over me.
Singer Cari Fletcher performs an acoustic version of her unreleased song, "For Cari," at the North Park Observatory in San Diego on March 5. Photo credit: Michaela Levell
In 2018, my 16-year-old self was desperately searching the internet for a queer, female artist who spoke to me and sang songs that I could relate to in a meaningful way. Songs of loving another woman, searching for acceptance, womanhood, and heartbreak.
I had been replaying “Girls like girls” by Hayley Kiyoko endlessly for years, but I felt like I needed more artists to help me feel as though I wasn’t alone.
It was then that I discovered other queer artists like King Princess, Lauren Sanderson, Hollie Col, and last but certainly not least, FLETCHER.
FLETCHER stood out to me because of her brutal, uncensored honesty about society, self-love, and the intricacies of relationships. Her music also addresses topics such as sexism, substance abuse and sexual assault, providing a voice to the voiceless.
A strong, LGBTQ+ woman singing about her love for other women helped me to accept parts of myself that I hadn’t fully come to terms with at the time.
As a closeted teenager from a religious and conservative hometown, my love for women scared the hell out of me.
I worried about how my friends would react when they found out, I worried about how my family’s perception of me would change, and I worried that no one would accept me.
When I found FLETCHER, her commitment to being fully open with her audience and creating songs about her relationships with women inspired me and helped me to see a brighter future for myself.
Her subject matter can be extremely provocative and controversial, and I gravitated towards this since I had spent so much time staying silent, repressing my thoughts and feelings.
Her music does the opposite, she embraces every feeling wholeheartedly without any hesitation. Her strength and emotional vulnerability inspired me to follow the same path and embrace my feelings.
Not only that, but her music would always find me during my times of need.
Around the time of my first heartbreak, FLETCHER released her debut EP “you ruined New York City for me,” detailing the hardships she faced after her own first heartbreak.
This entire album provided the support I needed during a time when I was too afraid to ask for support from my friends and loved ones. Every song on that EP felt as though it was written for me.
Her song “All Love” perfectly portrayed my situation and the pain I felt watching my ex move on, and there’s a certain comfort in knowing that others have felt that same way and healed from it.
One verse in “All Love” that made me feel validated was:
“Late nights in taxi cabs. Wish I could have ’em back. ‘Cause there’s a lot of things that I never said. Now you’re with somebody else in a different bed. You’re happy, I could see. And that’s so hard for me.”
This verse captured the thoughts I experienced at the time and the hesitancy I felt to move on from that situation. Not only that, her song made me feel less lonely at a time when I felt like I had to carry the weight of my heartbreak all on my own.
Four years after discovering FLETCHER, I stood in the turbulent crowd at the North Park Observatory, I felt myself begin to heal. When she sang “All Love,” instead of feeling lost and heartbroken, I felt seen and accepted.
Singer Cari Fletcher signs autographs during her performance at the North Park Observatory. Photo credit: Michaela Levell
This artist has fully encapsulated my experiences in music that I enjoyed listening to and can relate to. Seeing her in person only strengthened my adoration for her.
Her energy and passion for her music was even more prominent live and I felt overwhelmed with joy to experience it.
By the end of the night, my voice was hoarse from screaming every word to every song. Happy tears streamed down my face and my heart felt full of love for her, her music, and myself.
With her provocative lyrics, uncensored subjects and complete self-acceptance, FLETCHER helped me love myself as a queer woman, and she gave me a voice when I hadn’t quite found my own yet. For that, I will be forever grateful.
