By Once Betsie Spann and Claire Biron realized that they were in love while both still married to their husbands, Spann told Biron that she would wait 10 years for her to get a divorce to be together.
9 and a half years later, Biron split from her husband.
Now, after 36 years together, the two have celebrated love in a relationship that has evolved from friends to lovers and spouses.
“When we were going through the process of deciding if we were going to leave our husbands and get together, we made the promise that we were going to remain friends, no matter what,” Spann said.
Cheeks matching the shade of her pink cocktail, Biron stared and smiled at Spann as she said the words, until their gaze was interrupted by laughter and a light punch on the arm delivered by Spann.
Claire Biron (left) and Betsie Spann (right) on their wedding day in 2013, as soon as same-sex marriage was legalized in California after Prop 8 was struck down. Photo courtesy of Claire Biron
The two found their way to each other in the field of computer programming, a time back when Biron said “computers were huge mainframes.”
Originally from Maine, Biron studied computer programming in her home state at what was then the Plus Gray Business School. Her move to California was spontaneous, as Biron decided to follow her sister’s best friend in their move across the country.
Spann, originally from Chula Vista, studied anthropology at the University of California, Los Angeles. She found her way into the field through an ad in the Los Angeles Times, hiring an open call for programmers.
During their young adult years, both Biron and Spann worked different jobs within their fields and got married to different partners. Biron had three children with her then husband.
It wasn’t until the two began programming jobs at Western Airlines that they met and became friends.
Though Western Airlines has since become a subsidiary of Delta Airlines, their time spent working together allowed the two to travel together and grow closer.
“Working with Betsie was great,” Biron said. “We could go anywhere– Paris, Mexico, London, for cheap.”
Spann (left) and Biron (right) sat next to each other while on vacation in Kona, Hawaii in 2009, as they enjoyed a quick bite to eat. Photo courtesy of Claire Biron
It was in 1987 that Spann came to the realization that she was in love with Biron.
“I had a dream one night; she kissed me in the dream. I woke up, and thought, ‘Oh my God– I’m in love with a woman,’” Spann said. “I had no idea that I would love a woman.”
Spann, still married to her husband at that time, said that it was a hard year following. Having been raised Catholic, Spann said that at that time, she thought that she was broken and wrong.
First meeting a psychologist alongside her husband in couple’s therapy to restore their relationship, sessions began to shift with individual meetings.
It was through those individual sessions that Spann said she realized that she was not “necessarily straight,” and that she had no future with her husband.
The following year, Spann and her husband split.
From there, Biron and Spann continued their relationship under the understood 10 year ultimatum.
“I gave Claire 10 years to get a divorce– she made it 9 and a half, and she got divorced.” Spann said.
Once Biron’s divorce was finalized, she moved to Sacramento, which she said was a challenging time; her three children decided that they wanted to live with their father.
During this time, Biron provided support to her children through financial contributions and frequent call homes. Spann, who was spending each weekend with Biron in between work weeks, witnessed and supported Biron.
“It took a while for the kids to accept the fact that [Claire] left her dad and was with a woman,” Spann said. “She was very lonely at times– that was my impression– because she wasn’t with the kids.”
Over time, Biron’s family began to accept their relationship, and the couple moved to the San Mateo region of Northern California.
The pair describes themselves as ‘jocks,’ the two said that once they entered their ‘50s, they dabbled in a variety of sports.
From playing in a women’s ice hockey league to long distance mountain biking and outrigger canoeing in Hawaii, they spent these years participating in travel and community athletics.
An archive of Biron and Spann’s ‘jock’ career. The two participated in the 18-mile ‘world’s largest long-distance canoe race’ in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii in 2006. Photo Curtesy of Claire Biron
“Most of the time we get along,” Spann said. “When we were paddling, we’d come home and [Biron would] tell me all the things I did wrong in the boat. I sat in front, so she’d see my stroke. You get used to it.”
Though they retired from their careers and the more extreme of their ‘jock’ adventures around age 65, both Spann and Biron said that they love to stay active to this day.
Since they moved to Long Beach two years ago in an effort to be closer to their shared children and grandchildren, the two have found excitement through visits to the local beaches, sports tournaments and displays of live entertainment.
“Long Beach is a great city to be in, the kids keep telling me about cool spots,” Biron said.
As they grow older, Spann said that she hopes they both can continue to travel and stay healthy.
A lifetime looking back, Biron expresses no regrets.
“From our friendship, it turned into a loving relationship. I feel so lucky,” Spann said.
