Recently, an atheist Hemant Mehta, Secular Student Alliance chairman, gave a controversial speech in the Alamitos Bay Room about the positive virtues of atheism. He garnered national media coverage from an experiment that led to the release of his book, “I Sold My Soul on eBay: Viewing Faith through an Atheist’s Eyes.”
Lately, the battle between religious activists has been in full force on our campus. Several months ago, some pushy demonstrators caused quite a scene with some insensitive and ill-conceived remarks. Last week, several people had an issue with a Christian poster near the University Library that openly condemned Buddhism.
Just after everyone was starting to cool off, I noticed an advertisement for Mehta’s speech. It caught my attention immediately and got me thinking. After all, selling your soul isn’t part of an average yard sale.
Despite their differences, atheists and theists have common ground by claiming to have absolute truth. Each side argues its points, but answers boil down to faith or simply lack of belief. Agnostics act like Switzerland, remaining neutral on the issue. They are the least egotistical of the bunch, but this belief is like betting the green in roulette – it’s just not as exciting as choosing black or red.
No matter where your beliefs fall, it’s not hard to understand why people are passionate about spirituality. I praise Mehta for his courage to take a stance while defending his opinion in the face of national public scrutiny. Atheists are in the minority, but as they often point out, the world did turn out to be round.
In order to sell your soul, I think you would have to be either a truly devout atheist or the shrewdest capitalist out there. After all, with no definite proof, you could be losing something you need for all of eternity – and that’s a long time.
Selling your spirit might sound sinisterly modern, but it’s nothing new. Making a deal with the devil or engaging in a Faustian bargain is a well-known pact in many religious circles. Although it is an ancient idea, technology like eBay has helped make these transactions a bit easier.
Even though new technology is available, you cannot sell freely. Mehta’s sale turned out to net $504 in profit, but several people have tried similar auctions only to have their listing removed by eBay. Mehta’s auction was allowed because he wasn’t exactly selling his soul in a jar. Instead, the winner paid for the luxury of taking him to religious services.
The Silicon Valley-based online auction company stated, “If the soul does not exist, eBay could not allow the auctioning of the soul because there would be nothing to sell. However, if the soul does exist, then in accordance with eBay’s policy on human parts and remains, we would not allow the auctioning of human souls.”
I am not a lawyer, but theoretically it seems the soul is intellectual property. The contract would not be a problem. The soul could be transferred to its rightful owner upon death. You could even set up your estate plan to avoid the daunting “soul probate” process. Of course, taxes would have to be paid on the income received. I wonder if that would trigger an audit from the IRS.
There could even be a market for souls as commodities. Souls could have option contracts traded on the stock market. Then you could bet on the rising or declining value of one’s soul. You could even buy yours back if the second coming happens to arrive early, but don’t count on getting a cheap price.
After much contemplating, I finally came to a decision regarding this difficult dilemma. I respect others’ choices and encourage them to take the money and run.
However, while I cannot totally rule it out, I do not foresee ever needing to sell my soul. I use the term “need” because things must become extremely bad for me to take up this offer. Even bankruptcy might be a better choice.
First, I would have a normal yard sale. Maybe sell a few old books and CDs. My material objects would be gone, but at least I could rest easy with my spirit intact.
Then I would resort to credit cards at a 20 percent interest rate. After this, I would get an unsecured loan from Cash Call at a 96 percent rate. I would even consider a fierce loan shark who computes interest by his daily mood and doesn’t use a FICO score to evaluate borrowers before auctioning off my soul.
Finally, I would find a way to sell my dignity first. But if it ever got to that point, there probably wouldn’t be much of it left.
Ryan Ortega is a junior business finance major.
