As two young men awake in an unnatural seated position, they blink slowly, dazed and hurt. As they wake up, they realize that they’re trapped in a glass box for city park-goers to watch as they attempt to figure out what to do with the table saw “tug-of-war” in-between them. A video clicks on explaining that they must fight to the death for the same two-timing girl, hanging above with a third saw at her bare stomach.
The familiar voice of “Jigsaw” — now dead, with an apprentice operating his games — finishes explaining the game, noting that “one of [them] must drop out of the love triangle.” They opt for the girl, and allow her to be lowered onto the spinning tool, slowly, grindingly separating her into two.
At that, “Saw 3D” has begun on a note completely unrelated to the storyline that sporadically follows over the next hour-and-a-half.
The next few scenes introduce random characters in solitary storylines, most involving a life-threatening game in which they are forced to participate. Most perish, while some survive, but it is difficult to see the significance of these characters’ stories. Early on, the film moves far too rapidly and feels almost like a montage of flashbacks, and doesn’t isolate any events as noteworthy.
Soon thereafter, Bobby Dagen (Sean Patrick Flanery) is introduced as the most noteworthy player in the film. He is essentially a con artist trying to cash in on the worlds fear of “Jigsaw” by selling a biography about his alleged escape from one of the killer’s death mazes.
In reality, the whole story is fabricated, and Jigsaw’s protégé takes the initiative to give the author the experience he has been touting on talk shows and at book signings.
Bobby regains consciousness after being kidnapped and finds himself in one of Jigsaw’s games at an indistinguishable warehouse. He escapes and finds himself winding through the building, attempting to save his cohorts– a publicist, a manager and so fourth– but failing every time.
The pattern of Bobby’s futile attempts to rescue his friends becomes painfully obvious very quickly. There isn’t any plausibility that he might succeed and salvage some part of his former high-roller life before being encaged in a house of massacres.
The bulk of effort put into this film was clearly devoted to the death contraptions that grip each unlucky victim. It is indisputably impressive that so many original methods of forcing suicide can be conceived and articulated — especially considering that “Saw 3D” is the franchise’s seventh film.
The acting is simply awkward and nearly as painful to watch as the stomach-churning fatalities that fill the story. Forced emotions and unconvincing reactions to death are littered throughout. Bobby, for example, regularly allows one of his closest friends to die of impalement, burning or self-hanging, with virtually no reaction reflecting the severity of what has happened. He simply lowers his head to mourn for several mandatory seconds before strolling out and finding another jeopardized friend who he will fail at saving.
Also frustrating is the complete absence of logic in the main character’s methodology of trying to fight the group‘s imprisonment. He is always eager to start the timer on his pal’s life without ever trying to leave the building to seek real help.
The actors who play the victims are all physically attractive, looking more apt to model a swimsuit than save their own lives. This begs the question: is it more tragic and fearful to kill a beautiful person? Not necessarily, but “Saw 3D” takes its chances anyway.
Overall, the film is insulting to any viewer hoping for a well-conceived, smart horror film. Luckily for “Saw,” an audience expecting no more than to be disgusted, disturbed and discomforted is existent. For those few, the movie will be worth it. Otherwise, skip it.
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