Community activists discussed the tribulations faced by members of the bisexual community in the “Becoming Visible: Coming Out as Bisxual or Sexually Fluid” panel discussion on campus Tuesday as a part of National Coming Out Week.
“Everyone is different and has different preferences, and by understanding them and explaining them, we can grow as a people,” said Curtis Thomas, panelist and member of the A Meeting of Bi Individuals activist group. “It’s a spectrum, not just black and white.”
Panelists spoke of personal experiences and the broader issue of dealing with stigmas in the process of coming out as bisexual. A need to foster a communal attitude in order to help others find and become comfortable with their sexual identities was stressed.
Ironically, stigmas toward bisexuality, the panelists said, surface not only in the heterosexual community, but in the gay and lesbian community as well, leaving them in a confusing middle ground.
Bisexuals face harsh stereotypes of being trendy, “promiscuous freaks who will sleep with anyone available” and “traitors to the lesbian/gay liberation,” said Denise Penn, an advocacy journalist from the American Institute of Bisexuality — a foundation providing education and research to further the understanding of bisexuality.
“The perception of bisexuals is we’re greedy, sexual, care only about ourselves, and many gays and lesbians don’t understand,” said Genea Nicholson, a volunteer at The Center in Long Beach. “Definitely, the lesbians do give me a hard time for being bisexual.”
Nicholson said she’s “always having to defend her orientation,” but people usually drop the stereotypical talk once they get to know her.
Internal and external forces caused much confusion in coming to terms with sexuality, Thomas said. Many of his friends tried to convince him he was simply gay, but talks with a bisexual female friend who had strong definitions of who she was lead him to form his own clarifications.
“It was a process of questioning, day after day,” he said.
Penn suggested Americans tend to bring a dichotomous view to issues, and bisexuality is no exception.
“Bisexuals walk the line with identifying in the gay community,” Penn said. “Anything that just doesn’t fit throws you into a tailspin.”
The speakers said emphatically that being bisexual does not necessarily mean dating both males and females simultaneously. Rather, the term simply encapsulates individuals who find both sexes attractive.
They spoke positively of the creation of informal bisexual subdivisions and the emergence of new, more specific labels, while acknowledging the possibly negative effects of this fracturing.
Penn said a lot of people exploring their sexuality are uncomfortable with labels, and that the important thing is “picking the place you fit best.”
“Sexually fluid, pansexual — anytime people can define what makes them [themselves] is good. The problem is fragmenting breaks up the bi community,” Thomas said. “How do you make something mainstream that is so diverse?”
Thomas said all of this while acknowledging that the Los Angeles bisexual community is still “not flourishing.” The panelists all acknowledged that the Internet is a crucial tool in fostering community among bisexuals.
“The process of coming out as bi may be more difficult than for gays or lesbians,” Thomas said. “For me, it was a process of understanding who I was, and the sexual part followed along with it.”
