We are told to follow our bliss and we shall find where we are meant to be. We often search endlessly to find what we are passionate about and when we discover it, we blindly throw ourselves completely into our cause. Doing so is precisely what ensures success. However, we can not lose sight of the fact that for every great passion there shall be a sacrifice of equal value.
I have always admired people who have given themselves wholly to a noble cause, archetypal figures such as Mother Teresa, Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. come to mind. Furthermore, I aspire, as was said by the Dalai Lama, to “be the change in the world that I would like to see.” It was in this frame of thought that I came to realize my purpose in life: to be an in-field humanitarian aid worker.
I have spent ample time in search of my calling and now that I have found it, I realize that I neglected to think about what I must do in order to achieve that goal. Even more terrifying is knowing what I feel I would be losing in giving myself completely to others.
At first, I believed that the hardest part of this goal would be living so far away from anything and anyone familiar, being in a Third World country alone. Having to learn a new language, new customs and being submerged in an unfamiliar lifestyle would make anyone doubt his or her decision. Not being able to enjoy your friends and family, one would feel alienated from all one has come to feel safety in. Simple things, like going to the local bar and seeing familiar faces, linked to memories that assure you that you are home would be missed.
Though that may be a concern, after putting everything in perspective I have come to see two truths. If I didn’t fulfill my goal out of fear of the unfamiliar, I would constantly walk with guilt for being too cowardly to follow my passion. Secondly, if I did indeed go, I mustn’t categorize all that I have left as a sacrifice, for it will breed resentment. Instead, I must see all that I am gaining and the worth of my presence and work abroad.
After assuring myself of my decision, I became conscious of yet more factors I previously neglected to acknowledge, such as the change that would occur in me as I would witness the desperation around me. Living each day working with the underprivileged, the forgotten, and thinking all the while of the things I have and what they have been deprived of would take its toll on anyone.
The loss of innocence seeing through the eyes of those who truly suffer, the loss of hope knowing that people will still be in pain irrespective of how hard I work, these losses test the intensity of and commitment to one’s passion. In addition, these losses could either make one calloused or much more devoted to their cause. I would like to think I would reside in the latter category, however, that is not something that can be foreseen.
Between losing parts of oneself and missing all that is familiar, the choice to proceed remains. Understanding all the aforementioned, I walk forward with much apprehension, yet still place one foot in front of the other. The only concern that remains is whether or not I am giving so much of myself to others that there may be nothing left for me.
I question whether or not that is a possibility. Surely, it could be argued both ways. In one instance, the complete giving of one’s self to others in the name of a noble cause strips that person of the mundane joys and safeties. On the other hand, by doing so, one is gaining so much more by meeting new people and having a sense of purpose by devoting oneself to a benevolent cause. To know each day that you did your best and you indeed made a difference to one person fills any void that once existed.
I have been labeled an extremist, one that fashions her life around the theory of martyrdom. However, I am a firm believer in the theory that if one is passionate enough about anything, moderation holds no bearing. The only thing that then remains is the importance of your path, what you are capable of doing and eventually jumping in head first, for, no one can ever be completely prepared.
Sarah Al-Mulla is a junior journalism major.
