I was asked a rather beautiful question the other day. While enjoying a delicious meal served up by the fine folks at King Taco, my girlfriend asked something that nearly made me choke on my burrito. Midway through our feast, she casually threw out “Can I take you out for Valentine’s day this year?”
My initial shock and dismissal of the idea made me really think of how this holiday is viewed. It made me wonder why the automatic answer in my head was no, and also made me wonder how Valentine’s Day would be if the roles were reversed every year.
We all know the saying “With great power comes great responsibility”. Well when it comes to Valentine’s Day, I feel there’s a more appropriate saying: “With great expectations comes the possibility of great disappointments”. Did you know that according to a survey done by Women’s Health Magazine, 1 in 5 women would break up with their significant other if they didn’t get them a gift for Valentine’s Day? Now I don’t see myself as an expert on men, but I’m quite sure those numbers would jump to 1 in 50 if it was the other way around.
But I know some girls think, “If he forgot or didn’t see the importance of getting me something on Valentine’s, he deserves to get dumped!” Valid point, but I think a good amount fall into this category: the guys that did get their girl something, and did try their hardest, but in the end, it just didn’t match their girl’s expectations. Sure, most ladies that have had this experience have the initial response in their head of “Well, it’s the thought that counts”. Again, I’m far from an expert, but I honestly don’t think women are wired that way. Sure initially they might brush it off, but I don’t believe those feelings of disappointment vanish into thin air. Maybe it didn’t make a girl explode right then and there, but I know it had to have lit the fuse. Whether a girl finds themselves randomly starting arguments over things they naturally wouldn’t, or having a much shorter temper than usual for the following weeks, in my opinion Valentine’s Day disappointments have fueled countless arguments over the years. Would those same arguments take place if the roles were reversed? I’m going to have to say no on this one.
Now although Valentine’s Day does propose the possibility for disappointment, it also gives an opportunity for couples to come closer together. How the holiday is set up currently however, it usually involves the guy doing something sweet that gives that little extra spark in his lady’s heart. I can’t help but wonder, what would happen if that spark was shot the other way around. I could just imagine the countless guys that would get a much needed reality slap in the face that they DO have a special girl, and as a result end up stepping up their effort to improve the relationship. A chain reaction set off by a magical February 14th role reversal. Of course, there’s also the possibility that nothing will change and the guy will be exactly the same, which leads me to the next possible outcome if there was a Valentine’s Day switch.
It seems that some girls can get stuck in relationships with guys that don’t treat them as well as they deserve. But, it’s nothing a role reversal Valentine’s Day can’t handle. Now let’s assume that reality check discussed earlier failed miserably. Let’s say on Valentine’s Day a girl cooked her man breakfast, took him out to lunch, took him out for a nice dinner, gave him a gift she knew he’d love, and just treated him like a king the whole day. And let’s just say even after all of that, that same guy still showed no appreciation or any motivation to work harder in making the relationship better. Would any girl still want to be with this guy? Role reversal Valentine’s Day would quickly become every bad boyfriend’s nightmare.
Although it might be nice and all to have a role reversal of this lovely holiday, in the end, I honestly don’t think it would be able to stand the test of time. Yes, guys would enjoy the gifts, the attention, and the free dinners, but when it comes down to it, I’m not too sure it’d be a huge deal if a girl didn’t do any of those things every February 14th. If the role reversal actually came true, the absence of the intense pressure would be the greatest gift of all for most guys. Once girls realize that guys are thankful before even receiving a single gift, R.I.P Valentine’s Day.
So what was my answer to the question that led to this whole damn thing? Well, I have decided to take one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind. For the first time in my life, I will be getting taken out for Valentine’s Day. And although it felt weird even just typing that, I know February 14th isn’t about the gifts, the dinners, the flowers, or the chocolates. It’s about celebrating that special relationship you share with someone, and letting them know they mean the world to you. But with all that being said, I’d be a liar if I said the steak won’t be tasting just a little bit better this year.
Lawrence Maybir is a senior journalism student and a contributing writer for the Daily 49er.
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