Americans are so concerned about their rights, especially regarding free speech.
We have a history of protesting and filing lawsuits in defense of that freedom. Some even dedicate their lives to the protection of it.
Yet what about the right not to listen? If anything, this is what we should be more focused on.
We have all been in that situation where one person thinks so much of himself that he will talk to us long after we’ve tuned him out. You can give every kind of clue to these people that you’re not interested, but they will continue to haunt you with their conversation.
Such situations sometimes have a negative effect in addition to the listener’s frustration. People have appointments to keep, and a boring 15-minute conversation can seriously put someone behind schedule for the rest of the day.
Sounds innocent enough? It’s only a lousy 15 minutes. By sacrificing such a small amount of time, a speaker won’t have to bear the embarrassment of knowing that his listener is uninterested, right?
Think about this. You have a speaker holding a listener for 15 minutes against her will. In other words, you have a hostage situation going on here. Only in this instance the person being held captive is expected to politely bear the condition forced upon her by the captor/speaker.
Now it doesn’t sound so innocent. In fact, it’s insulting for someone to suggest that a captive has the moral obligation to be polite to the captor.
Yet some people are clueless. You can begin to walk away, tell them how much you are in a hurry, and they will continue with their boring conversation. How are these people suppose to end their practice of holding others prisoner with their conversation?
Listen. I read an interesting essay last semester where the writer said that speakers should become listeners. The writer went further and said that speakers should only converse about something that the listener also finds to be an enjoyable topic. I don’t know if that’s possible. However, I do know that if overbearing speakers had more concern for their listeners, those speakers would have a better understanding of what kinds of conversation people don’t want to have.
I know because I was once and, at times, continue to be an overbearing speaker.
I love politics, religion and philosophy. Mix in my love to speak and you have a guy who is also inclined to argue when given the opportunity. As a result, I was known by Daily 49er staff members as the guy who argues too much.
It didn’t occur to me that some people hated my conversation. Me being overbearing was part of my charm, so I thought. That is until a staff member let me know that being an overbearing speaker was anything but charming.
When my political/religious/philosophical rants began, this person would tune me out. She even got to the point where she would say, “You know I’m not listening.” So I would move on to the next person and say my rant there.
Eventually, though, I got the message. Ranting was not charming. Conversing with someone who has turned you out was not good. A speaker should look out for the interest of his listener as well as himself.
The opportunity for me to argue/rant came up again recently with another staff member. I asked the person what she thought about religion and would’ve continued had I not remembered my former lesson. “No, forget about religion,” I told her, “let’s talk about books.” It was an interest that we both shared.
Brian Cuaron is a senior English major and editor in chief for the Daily 49er.
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